The four letter word describe so many things but whether we really understand the meaning of this word. Whenever I am thinking with full peace I feel we use this word as and when but we really don’t know the meaning of the word. Let us forget about other, I am in this world since last 37 years but I also don’t know the meaning. Whenever I am sitting alone at the sea and looking at the roaring waves I try to find the meaning of the word but every time it gives me a new meaning. I try to put all the meaning to get a confirm meaning but I didn’t get any success. Since childhood I am asking myself why I am living, why I am here, what I am doing and what I am supposed to do. The questions come to me everyday since last 37 years but never get satisfactions from the answers. In this 37 years I have seen the world (to the extent my eyes allowed me), enjoyed it, made lots of friends, girl friends, got a lovely family, lovely wife, read the books (readable or not readable), listen so many facts and speak on so many issues but till today never get the real meaning of it.
Once I thought it would be better to check with Purvi and some of my friends but they also get confused. One of my friend told me he want to do social service, so I asked him very good man but how you like to do so he replied if I knew then I would be doing it. Story over. Sometime I am thinking so many people (including me) are living without any goal. They are living as they born on earth as their parents got excited for few moments and hence living. Whenever I think of my grandmother I feel so amused. She didn’t had any education, didn’t like to talk, cannot hear properly (if you speak slowly then she will tell you what you speak). She gets up early then just sit at one corner of the home for the whole day. I get scared from the life whenever I think of her, but then I console myself that you are educated, you love reading so don’t worry. My mom always tell a person should live only till he/she can do her own work and the day he/she start relying on others for daily routine then make end of life. (The religious people will shout you are not god as God gives birth and God gives death). I always feel the poor and beggars are giving birth to number of children to get more income and get support for the old age. Their motto keep producing children as we want now and let the child decide his/her own fate. I remembered one dialogue between one of my close family. “Son asks for pocket money so father got angry and told I am not earning for your pleasure and entertain your hobbies. The brave son of brave father just replied if you are not able to earn and fulfill my pleasure then before giving birth have you asked me whether I want to born.” What to say? But if you give a second thought then I would feel that boy is right. The poor parents don’t know what they are going to eat but they will ensure that they give birth to five children and let the world suffer the consequences. Sometime go to a slum area and have a look (those sophisticated people can take a bottle of perfume). You will see small young children are playing in mud, the slangs are exchanged, some matured young may be smoking and people like us will just spoil the face and keep walking. But the children are not at fault as they have not come at their wish but living due to two minute fun of their parents. Government is talking about one child policy but where are the steps, where are the incentives.
When we all are sitting at home and talking about the old golden days my mom always mentioned that in old time people have six or seven children is a common factor. I really feel amused by this as I feel in old days what is role of woman: give birth to ten children (10 years gone), then spent life behind them to make them educated, and then once they got married take care of their children. If I have to break the limit, I would describe them as machine to generate children and machine to maintain children. We must respect those women as without doing any rebel they convert themselves into machine.
Now let me come to main issue of meaning of life as I gone to some other track from the main track. Purvi always say once you start speaking like Murari Bapu then it is difficult to stop you. When I was child my father was telling a story to my mother and in that story it was mentioned that all human being have right to die themselves. That time I didn’t understand the meaning of it but during the span of 37 years when I have seen my own people dying with pain and they suffered a lot then I felt if no one ask me when I born (whether I want to born or don’t want) then why I have to ask anyone when I want to die. I don’t get a right to die also. I read somewhere that some of the countries are now making it legal to give right to death to humans. I remembered one discussion I had with my father at very young age. Me and my father went for a night walk and we saw a beggar who had no hands n no legs. He was having just bones and very old but was still living. I asked my father why he is living on mercy of others, he should die. My father told every human being is scared of death. If you put a gun on this man’s head he will start screaming of mercy and ask you to leave him live. I was laughing on my father and felt as he is a professor must be reading and writing so much so his mind gets this kind of ideas. But today at age of 37 I feel he is right. (My mom will say you never listen to him). Before five year, I was travelling in hired taxi and we had an accident and I saw death just passed through me and from that day I am scared of death. Initially I was saying death cannot beat me but I will beat the death but now I am scared and I think everyone scared like me. Death comes to all without looking at religion, money, country and there is no solution of it. I always believe let the death come and till that enjoy the life, have fun, keep laughing and live in today. Purvi always think for tomorrow and I always tell her don’t worry for tomorrow and let us live in today.
The meaning of life can be different from person to person and one way to find the meaning is to look in the life of some of the people to see whether they have a correct meaning of life. Whether they are living with a goal and whether their goal is right or because of their goal others are suffering? While talking with Purvi on this, I tell her let us take four different characters and look into their life and their goal to life so we may get the meaning of life. (My sister will say you love to talk with all in a village and have topic for everyone). The below thoughts of the individual character are my own thoughts and I don’t know how many of you agree with it but I always like to express my feelings in my own way.
See you in Part 2…..